{"product_id":"elite-premium-hoodie","title":"Elite Premium Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou could signal your preparedness the traditional way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear a puffy vest. Drive a silly car. Mention your bunker at dinner parties. Those methods work, but they're exhausting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr you could simply be the best-dressed person in the fallout shelter by wearing the \u003cstrong\u003eElite Premium Hoodie.\u003c\/strong\u003e Its buttery-soft, impeccably built heavyweight fleece holds its shape longer than most governments. The wordmark across the chest signals stealth with black reflective ink: subtle when encountering your adversaries by day, and flashes silver at night, so the rescue drones know you're worth the effort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCAUTION:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wearing this garment may cause strangers to assume you own backup water filters, precious metals, or a suspicious number of canned beans. Do not correct them. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eYou’re better than them, and they do not deserve your attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProvisions for the Discerning Survivor\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Fabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e 10 oz heavyweight fleece with a self-fabric-lined hood. Civilization may falter. Your comfort will not.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eComfort Without Concession:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed unisex fit with drop shoulders, providing ample room for comfort, concealment, and the occasional existential crisis. Size down if you prefer a closer fit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStrategic Storage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Kangaroo pocket for essential provisions, plus ribbed cuffs and hem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNo Drawcords:\u003c\/strong\u003e Nothing to tangle in the machinery during civilization's final hours.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMeasurements (width × length, inches):\u003c\/strong\u003e XS 21¼ × 26¾ · S 22½ × 27¾ · M 23½ × 28¾ · L 24¾ × 29¾ · XL 26 × 30¾ · 2XL 27¼ × 31¾\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePreservation Protocol\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreserve the Evidence:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold with like colors. Turn inside out to protect the print. Avoid bleach and excessive heat. Air dry when possible, and for the love of all things holy, keep the iron away from the graphic.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLong-Term Survival:\u003c\/strong\u003e Store somewhere dry, preferably above ground and away from open flames.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Manufactured in Vietnam. Screen-printed in the USA (pre-collapse).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWARNING:\u003c\/strong\u003e This sweatshirt offers no measurable protection against economic collapse, electromagnetic pulses, evil spirits, or your uncle's investment advice. It is, however, exceptionally comfortable.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"PREapocalypse","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Ecru","offer_id":53183663243546,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Powder","offer_id":52904112423194,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Ecru","offer_id":53183663210778,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Powder","offer_id":52904112390426,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Ecru","offer_id":53183663178010,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Powder","offer_id":52904112357658,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Ecru","offer_id":53183663145242,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Powder","offer_id":52904112324890,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Ecru","offer_id":53183663112474,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Powder","offer_id":52904112292122,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Ecru","offer_id":53183663079706,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Powder","offer_id":52904112259354,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0993\/2816\/4122\/files\/PREApocalypse-Elite-Hoodie-Women.png?v=1794444476","url":"https:\/\/preapocalypse.co\/products\/elite-premium-hoodie","provider":"PREApocalypse","version":"1.0","type":"link"}